Children Who Use School As An Escape Route From Home
By Stormi Willis
A child may be getting high grades and a lot of praise to escape for a while, from home and their true feelings. Nobody will think that a child like this could be a child with very serious problems. Depending on how intelligent they are, and how cleverly they learn to manipulate, they may coast by in school.
Sometimes, unfortunately, they will take on many characteristics of their parents. People behave as they have learned to behave, whether they like it or not. For some of them, learning to take responsibility for their actions is a hard, because it doesn’t come out of their life experience. Responsibility has to be taught.
Another problem in school is the inability to concentrate. Quite often their thoughts will be directed to fantasies created to make life okay, or to worrying. They probably want to pay attention, but how can they especially if they have been up all night listening to their parents fight or party. If they need help, they know better than to ask for it. Many are threatened to be quiet about what goes on in their houses.
If by chance someone was sympathetic to them, maybe a teacher asked,” Is something bothering you?” they will say,” No, everything is fine” and walk away, wanting desperately to cling to that teacher and to say, ”Oh my God, it’s so terrible at home… I’m not really sure what is wrong. Please, please help me.”
They want someone to understand without their having to tell them, but they really don’t believe anyone can. They keep their feelings inside. So, school, which should have been a haven, becomes a kind of hell. Some misbehave thinking that maybe if they get into trouble, someone would pay attention. They may think that everyone else’s lives are perfect like the families on television. What is real and unreal gets very distorted. Most children in these situations know that their parents love them. The love may have been distorted, but it was real, so their reality gets distorted. Therefore, their sense of self is distorted.
From the time I was a little child in a Christian kindergarten, then thrown into the world by parents who couldn’t afford private school and had no knowledge that making that one turn down a path from where God had placed me (in Christian School) to the path of least resistance (Public School) caused many trials not only in their lives, but the lives of their children (my brother and I) and in turn, in my own children’s lives. God tried many things to get us back on that path and it took me years to figure that out.
I still forget sometimes, or choose not to remember that everything my husband and I do will affect our children’s lives and the outcome of their life. I try to tell myself they will make their own choices regardless of our raising them in Church (which we try to do) or if we had continued to raise them in a home where we drank almost daily for years, or somewhere in between.
Our children are growing so fast, and they have made me feel so blessed. They are blessings I do not deserve, but I am glad God has seen fit to give me this time in Eternity to raise them and love them.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
When the Sunlight Shines by Stormi L. Willis
When the Sunlight Shines by Stormi L. Willis
I wipe the sleep from my eyes as we travel down the interstate on a much needed family vacation. Well, actually it is a visit to my mother and brothers house so it is a semi-vacation. My husband of sixteen years is at the wheel driving us safely, as he does much of our life. Keeping us safe in his hands.
He has grown so much and I love him more every day.
I wipe the sleep from my eyes as we travel down the interstate on a much needed family vacation. Well, actually it is a visit to my mother and brothers house so it is a semi-vacation. My husband of sixteen years is at the wheel driving us safely, as he does much of our life. Keeping us safe in his hands.
He has grown so much and I love him more every day.
Our three children are in the back playing, arguing, and loving one another (although they wouldn’t admit it unless perhaps it was a matter of life or death). Pouncing on our heads and in our laps is our puppy, who a friend rescued form the side of the road and gave us when she wad only weeks old. She is the baby of the family and hops from one of us to the other, making us all feel like we are her favorite person. My children have also changed so much, grown so fast.
Seems only weeks ago they were pooping and puking on me.
It amazes me what the Lord does when He comes into a home and how He builds a loving family out of broken hearts and fragile pieces of lives. How is it that as I watch all this growth going on around me and feel such a difference in my own heart that I forget I am changing too? Not only on the inside am I growing in Christ, but o the outside, I am changing too.
I pull out the mirror and see the image of a woman who I always expect to look so much younger (or older) depending on how I feel that day. Today I feel joyful, full of hope and there is an anticipated excitement in the air. But in the mirror when the sunlight shines on my face I look so aged. I see the creases and lines that show the days that I am not so joyful, days I battle with depression and loneliness. In the darkness of my room where I get ready and put on my makeup each day there is no sunlight, just manmade electricity and in manmade light (or in man’s eyes) many flaws and imperfections can be hidden.
I pull out the mirror and see the image of a woman who I always expect to look so much younger (or older) depending on how I feel that day. Today I feel joyful, full of hope and there is an anticipated excitement in the air. But in the mirror when the sunlight shines on my face I look so aged. I see the creases and lines that show the days that I am not so joyful, days I battle with depression and loneliness. In the darkness of my room where I get ready and put on my makeup each day there is no sunlight, just manmade electricity and in manmade light (or in man’s eyes) many flaws and imperfections can be hidden.
But this sunlight shining on my face through the window of the car shows it all. Every age spot, un-plucked hair and the start of wrinkles around my eyes. I become self conscious as I begin to pluck and pry to cover the blemishes, realizing that in the sunlight this is what people see everyday when they look at me. I cringe inside when I think of how I must look to my Savior when His Son lights on my face and feel like dying from shame when I contemplate His light in my heart where the light of His love shines o the seed He had planted there. No doubt He sees much worse than what I see on my face. Yet, He loves me in spite of my imperfections. In fact, He loves me in spite of the scars and wrinkles of the life I lived before He saved me although He no doubt knows the many sins and nastiness I have allowed back in this garden of the Heart since He saved me.
I look back around in the car at my family and my heart swells with joy and love. I know their mistakes and failures, some of them have hurt me deeply, yet I can’t imaging anything they could do that would make me love them less. To think how much more He loves me so much more than I can understand or even imagine brings tears to my eyes nearly messing up the makeup I just applied reminding me again of how vain and temporary this life is. Why Jesus chose to come down from His throne in Heaven and leave His father for me although I am imperfect in every way, or that God would allow it, I can never understand. I am so very thankful though that I know I will get to be with them and understand one day.
He must see something with that light of His that assures Him that He can make something worth loving out of this dirt he bought with His blood on the cross all those years ago. But for the life of me, this mirror I hold in my hand can’t find what it might be. No man made concealer can hide what I am from Him. Just knowing that one day when the Son light shines all over me He will find me perfect and without blemish makes me close my eyes to imagine one more time the joy I will see on His face on that day. All is well with my soul for this moment in time.
Monday, December 3, 2007
End Procrastination and Perfectionism in YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR CORPORATION, YOUR LIFE - Become Effective!
WHO IS RITA EMMETT? Rita is the author of the following books.
You may purchase at my AMAZON store on http://www.multidistracted.blogspot.com/
She is also a Speaker, Consultant, & Facilitator with a proven track record that can help you, your family, or your employees become more productive & add joy to the workday.
DON’T PROCRASTINATE - call or visit her site today http://www.ritaemmett.com/
Tell Rita that Stormi sent you!
BOOK RITA AT YOUR NEXT MEETING OR SEMINAR Contact Rita at:
847-699-9950 (phone) 847-699-9951 (fax) rita@ritaemmett.com (email)
The Procrastinator’s Handbook: Mastering the Art of Doing it Now
Sold over 100,000 copies in the first 14 months
Shows how a common kitchen gadget can get us started when we’ve been putting off something for ages.
Offers help to the “I Wanna Do It All” procrastinators.
Explores how a variety of fears (including Fear of Success) can immobilize us.
Received an award from Digital Palm Media as the top selling non-fiction e-book of 2001 (Stephen King was the top selling fiction e-book of the year).
Rita has made over 100 radio and TV appearances, including The Today Show where she was interviewed by Katie Couric: (see interview on YouTube)
The Procrastinating Child: A Handbook for Adults to Help Children Stop Putting Things Off:
Was the first book published totally devoted to helping children stop procrastinating
Includes true stories and strategies-that-work from some of the 673 people that Rita interviewed about children who procrastinate
Helps parents learn how to work as a team with children to coach them out of the putting-off habit
Teaches a simple, quick strategy to take the STING out of feeling overwhelmed
Has been used as a fundraiser at grade and high schools and combined with the first book, is published in over 32 countries
The Procrastinator’s Guide To Authorship: Stop Putting Off Your Success
Eight steps to help get you get your rear in gear and writing when you just can't seem to get started
Overcoming the overwhelm when the idea of writing a whole book seems to be way too much to cope with
A proven strategy to make time to write when you're so busy there just isn't any spare time
A fantastic innovative strategy to write your book so fast and easy that it almost writes itself
The Clutter-Busting Handbook: Clean It Up, Clear It Out, and Keep Your Life Clutter Free
stop saving all those goofy things that you never need or use
stop bringing goofy things into your life that you never need or use
find places to put your stuff
stop setting things down and not putting them where they belong
cultivate new habits to keep clutter from returning
part with some of your beloved junk … er … stuff, without breaking your heart or making you cry like a baby poodle
When Wonder Woman Takes Off the Cape
As I scribble on a piece of scrap paper, I am riding down the road trying to beat the new deadline for the magazine. I am riding, not driving and although I have written while driving if a thought struck me, I don’t suggest it. The original deadline was ten days ago, but my computer crashed and it was the only one that held the contents. I know, risky! But thank God that my husband is a computer whiz . If you are holding this magazine in your hand, I guess things worked out after all. It is 8:30 on a Thursday night and we are headed to the grocery store. God has truly blessed me in the last two years since I gave my life to him on February 8, 2004. The changes in my home and family are so amazing that I can barely believe it. Today, I taught my Kindergarten class, then went on visitation, and then back home to get dinner ready and sit down to meet the magazine deadline, before going to the grocery store. It amazes me that that the feeling of being busy and being blessed go hand in hand. I see so many women who do so much more that I ever dream of doing and I wonder how they get it all done. Then I realize that they have the same father that I do, and He makes it all possible! It is all done by His grace and plan! If you have ever felt useless and worthless like I did most of my life, or if you have ever longed to do something good with your life, ask God to take over, come into your heart and save you, and He will give you purpose. If you seriously pray for God to use you in any way and for any purpose that He chooses, then do what He asks of you, He will fill your life to overflowing with blessings. He will use you in ways that you never imagined, to do things that you never thought that you could and He will not give you anything that you can’t handle. Plus, He will give you the secret desires of your heart!! Like, not only writing in a magazine, but being the Creative Director of one and loving the ladies that you work with. Or, sending you to teach Kindergarten and blessing you with the love and adoration of little children who think that you are wonderful even when you know that you aren’t half as wonderful as they are. Or, having a Church family who loves you even when you know that you don’t deserve it. Or, most importantly, blessing you with a home instead of just a house with a family that counts on you and loves you even when you get so busy being Wonder Woman that they get put on the back burner.
If you are anything like me, there are still days that you feel like a failure. Days when you feel like you will lose your mind if you have to add one more thing to your “to do” list. When Wonder Woman takes off the cape, and the smile is gone and the pressure is on. When Wonder Woman’s wig is slung to the side because her head is spinning and her family is tired of hearing how many wonders that she is working for other people. When all that they want is to tell you about their day and love on you and tell you how wonderful that they think that you are. Maybe, to tell you that you are the best mommy in the world, even though you know that there are many more worthy mommies in the world. Or, to tell you that you are the most beautiful wife even though you feel nothing of the sort. Or, to tell you that you are a great daughter and just spend a minute or two chatting, but you are always just so busy. That is when you need to stop and pray.
Maybe you feel like someone has mistaken you for Wonder Woman and you are pretty sure that they have you mistaken for someone else. But you REALLY want to do all that God has given you because you know in your heart how much time that you wasted, before you started serving Him. All you want to do is make up for the wasted time. So, you talk to Him and He loves on you. It makes it all worth it and He helps you not to put so much pressure on yourself. He reminds you that that family of yours was picked by Him, just for you and that they deserve more of Wonder Woman’s time than anyone outside of your phone booth does (I mean, home). Actually, the phone booth was another super hero and actually, I just realized that I, am only a woman and that the wonder of it all is, Him.
~ Stormi L. Willis (written sometime in 2005-2006)
If you are anything like me, there are still days that you feel like a failure. Days when you feel like you will lose your mind if you have to add one more thing to your “to do” list. When Wonder Woman takes off the cape, and the smile is gone and the pressure is on. When Wonder Woman’s wig is slung to the side because her head is spinning and her family is tired of hearing how many wonders that she is working for other people. When all that they want is to tell you about their day and love on you and tell you how wonderful that they think that you are. Maybe, to tell you that you are the best mommy in the world, even though you know that there are many more worthy mommies in the world. Or, to tell you that you are the most beautiful wife even though you feel nothing of the sort. Or, to tell you that you are a great daughter and just spend a minute or two chatting, but you are always just so busy. That is when you need to stop and pray.
Maybe you feel like someone has mistaken you for Wonder Woman and you are pretty sure that they have you mistaken for someone else. But you REALLY want to do all that God has given you because you know in your heart how much time that you wasted, before you started serving Him. All you want to do is make up for the wasted time. So, you talk to Him and He loves on you. It makes it all worth it and He helps you not to put so much pressure on yourself. He reminds you that that family of yours was picked by Him, just for you and that they deserve more of Wonder Woman’s time than anyone outside of your phone booth does (I mean, home). Actually, the phone booth was another super hero and actually, I just realized that I, am only a woman and that the wonder of it all is, Him.
~ Stormi L. Willis (written sometime in 2005-2006)
Friday, October 26, 2007
It is Wrong by Stormi Willis
It is Wrong by Stormi Willis
It is wrong to throw stuff down in a place you never would have put it and blame others.
It is wrong to not tell your parents how much that you love them before you get too old to think it will matter.
It is wrong not to tell your kids how much their handprint on a piece of paper will matter as they grow up and when they are gone.
It is wrong to believe in perfection when the more perfect you try to be; the worse off you are.
It is wrong to think that because you try to live right in front of your children that they will try to live right behind your back.
It is wrong to tell your spouse you are as smart as they are, even if you are smarter.
It is wrong to write funny crap that makes you laugh and not share it with others because you are afraid of how they will react.
It is wrong to kill flies instead of ignore them because they always multiply.
It is wrong to think no one will ever read all that you write when you are all alone.
It is wrong to think that pizza sauce tastes like pizza on any type of dough.
It is wrong to think that because you are beautiful on the outside that the inside doesn’t matter.
It is wrong to not wake up each day regardless of how you feel and refuse to learn something new.
It is wrong to think that a person in authority is someone that you should always follow.
It is wrong to hide talent behind fear and indecision.
It is wrong to tell your children you can protect them when really, you can’t, you are only human.
It is wrong to tell your kids that the word “ain’t” is not in the dictionary when in fact it is….
It is wrong to settle for telling less than the truth, even when most people want to hear lies.
It is wrong to not savor that first kiss because in a moment it could not matter anymore...
It is wrong not to consider everyone’s reaction before you tell them your plan.
It is wrong to think everyone is out to get you when most of them do not even know what you are made of.
It is wrong to think that private means …private.
It is wrong to think that because your spouse is comfortable by you on the couch that a person can’t get their attention.
It is wrong to assume that because someone else got rich on a “get rich scheme “that you will too.
It is wrong to trust people, because they are just as worthless and incapable of trust as you are.
It is wrong to assume that you can control anything that you didn’t create.
It is wrong to think that your prayers don’t matter to a person who no one has ever prayed for bef
It is wrong to throw stuff down in a place you never would have put it and blame others.
It is wrong to not tell your parents how much that you love them before you get too old to think it will matter.
It is wrong not to tell your kids how much their handprint on a piece of paper will matter as they grow up and when they are gone.
It is wrong to believe in perfection when the more perfect you try to be; the worse off you are.
It is wrong to think that because you try to live right in front of your children that they will try to live right behind your back.
It is wrong to tell your spouse you are as smart as they are, even if you are smarter.
It is wrong to write funny crap that makes you laugh and not share it with others because you are afraid of how they will react.
It is wrong to kill flies instead of ignore them because they always multiply.
It is wrong to think no one will ever read all that you write when you are all alone.
It is wrong to think that pizza sauce tastes like pizza on any type of dough.
It is wrong to think that because you are beautiful on the outside that the inside doesn’t matter.
It is wrong to not wake up each day regardless of how you feel and refuse to learn something new.
It is wrong to think that a person in authority is someone that you should always follow.
It is wrong to hide talent behind fear and indecision.
It is wrong to tell your children you can protect them when really, you can’t, you are only human.
It is wrong to tell your kids that the word “ain’t” is not in the dictionary when in fact it is….
It is wrong to settle for telling less than the truth, even when most people want to hear lies.
It is wrong to not savor that first kiss because in a moment it could not matter anymore...
It is wrong not to consider everyone’s reaction before you tell them your plan.
It is wrong to think everyone is out to get you when most of them do not even know what you are made of.
It is wrong to think that private means …private.
It is wrong to think that because your spouse is comfortable by you on the couch that a person can’t get their attention.
It is wrong to assume that because someone else got rich on a “get rich scheme “that you will too.
It is wrong to trust people, because they are just as worthless and incapable of trust as you are.
It is wrong to assume that you can control anything that you didn’t create.
It is wrong to think that your prayers don’t matter to a person who no one has ever prayed for bef
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I will have to upload my foot now and the new boot later
I can't get them uplaoded now, so if I do not get distracted, I will try later.
Go buy the Toe Condom at my ebay store:
OddJunkNobodyWants
I may sell Stinky the Boot next
and some weird metal things I got during my jewelry selling days when everything looked like a jewelry display.
Go buy the Toe Condom at my ebay store:
OddJunkNobodyWants
I may sell Stinky the Boot next
and some weird metal things I got during my jewelry selling days when everything looked like a jewelry display.
My Foot! by Stormi Willis
Most people have heard the idiom “My Foot!” which is an old fashioned saying that means something that you say after repeating something someone has just said, in order to show that you do not believe it. Although this story is painfully true, there will probably be times as you read it that you think to yourself, “My Foot!” but that is fine, because I know the truth of foot pain because I have lived with it for over 11 years.
I am going to start kind of in the middle, because it is the funniest part of the story, so bear with me as I skip around (pardon the pun). During the pre-op stuff, I was dozing off during my MRI when the technician rushes over and asks if my foot was on fire! Something like this:
Me: “Snore, snore”
Tech: (shakes me awake, yelling)”Is your foot burning?”
Me: (rubbing eyes) “Um, not that I know of.”
Tech: “Do you have metal in your foot?” at which point I think surgery has already happened and I now have a screw in my foot.
Me: “Um… Is surgery over?”
Tech: “No you are in pre-op, wake up, tell me do you feel sparks or heat in your foot?”
Me: (JOLTING AWAKE) “What! Fire? Metal? No!! Why?”
Tech: “The machine is seeing metal flakes on that foot. Do you have any idea why?”
Me: “Well, I did have red, white, and blue glittery stars on my nails for the 4th of July.”
It is now September, so I am (thinking)
“What an embarrassing way to admit that I do not always remove polish before reapplying.”
At this point the tech rolls me out of the machine, and looks at my foot and sure enough there was metal flake in the silver polish that I was wearing, so she had to go to emergency room and get polish remover pads for me to remove the polish so I did not have to reschedule.
Tech: “Never in 20 years of doing this have I seen polish cause sparks in the MRI machine!”
Leave it to me to mess up a million dollar machine…
(RANDOM THOUGHT)
I once heard a preacher talking about silly reasons that people miss Church. I know that people do make excuses, but that is beside the point, and completely irrelevant to my foot. The relevant part is that he said as he demonstrated in a funny kind of way, that some people will say, “I can’t go to Church because my big toe hurts.” And he continued to pretend to whine about a bunion, which I am assuming he has never had one of or he would realize the pain they cause. That was when I stood up and yelled “MY FOOT!”
Okay, not really. I did not actually stand up and yell, in reality, but in my mind. You know, kind of like Ally McBeal (who took most of her sitcom reactions from my real life). I imagined myself doing this.
(THE HISTORY OF MY FEET)
Let me explain something:
I do not, nor have I ever been able to stand someone so much as LOOKING AT MY FEET, much less touching them. I could barely stand to touch my own 3 children’s feet to put on shoes; therefore, they went barefooted a lot, which my daddy would not approve of were he still alive. When I was a child, going barefooted was NOT AN OPTION. This man wore shoes in the ocean, in the pool; I think he even wore them to sleep in occasionally. But as parents often are, he was right one day as I ran through the neighbor’s yard when I ran over a sharp pipe they had where the water from their washing machine drained in their yard and nearly cut my foot in half.
Tickling my feet is out of the question. Oddly enough parents think that it is funny to hold their children down and tickle them until they can’t breathe and cry and scream. This should be the only time that it is OKAY FOR A CHILD to beat the crap out of their parents all about the face and head until they STOP tickling the first time a child yells, STOP!!
My husband did not believe the seriousness of the DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET EVER rule and for a long time and thought it was cute to reach for my feet, grab at my feet, and occasionally glance the wrong way at my feet as if he were wondering if I was serious or acting about the importance of the DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET rule. He has even told me that in my sleep, if he WALKS PAST MY FEET to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, while sound asleep, I will jerk my feet up to the fetal position to protect them.
Subsequently (and relevant, I promise), I also do not like water where I cannot touch or see the bottom. I do not go under water unless I am standing on the bottom and holding my nose, STILL. (But the nearly drowning when I was a child stories will have to wait….) The last time my husband touched my feet was in a pool where he talked me into going into the deep end (I must have been drunk enough not to be scared) and he thought that as a reward for trusting him, it would be funny to go UNDER THE WATER AND PULL ME UNDER BY THE FEET. Many head and shoulder bruises, cuss words I cannot type, and 2 weeks of silence later, he realized that it was serious business to NOT TOUCH MY FEET!! I will not go into how he has now passed the tradition of pretending to want to touch my feet onto my children, who have also come to realize that mama is serious, do not touch the feet!
(BACK TO THE FOOT SURGERY STORY)
Now, to the reality of my foot injury and recent (one month ago) surgery on my right foot & big toe joint; I can’t possibly go back through over 11 years worth of details, so I will hit the high points (or the toe points).
Let’s see,
I was pregnant with my son who is now 11 (that is how I remember how long ago the pain began) Not because of my son, really it was because of my hubby, well……….. That didn’t come out right….. Anyway, to sum up the foot injury, We were moving for the 8th or 9th time and I was cleaning junk off our porch and throwing things to one side to keep and another to trash. Somehow during the porch cleaning, there was a fit of rage, a broom, and an argument with my then not near as sweet as he is now, hubby.
The result, a broken foot, which I thought was just a bruised foot. It turned black and blue and swelled up so big that I could not help finish cleaning or moving (aww, too bad). The really ironic thing is that had the internet been as advanced as it is now I could have clicked on this link to know the difference between broken and bruised http://www.ehow.com/how_6044_know-toe-broken.html I just had to share that because in looking for the definition of the terms below to describe the 4 things that were causing the pain in my one toe joint, I ran across the article you will see if you get distracted (as I did) and go to that link.
(DISTRACTION)
After my mother who stays well informed on any and all things, be it true or rumor, told me that the feet were one of the most important parts of the body and could affect your overall health, she said that she had heard that some cultures treat the feet for everything ranging from colds to major illnesses by treating the feet. I did some research and according to several sites of which this summed it up the best, mama was right and one of the best sites that sum this up I found this one http://www.drciprian.com/feet.htm :
Twenty five percent of the bones of your body are in your feet. If any of these bones are misaligned, your entire body could be affected. You might not even feel that you have a foot problem but it can be causing knee problems, hip or low-back problems, shoulder and neck problems and even headaches or stomachaches. Foot problems can also cause emotional stresses and physiological changes in the body like adrenal stress, blood sugar, fatigue and many others. Many doctors look to the mechanics of the foot for proper posture but there is so much more making up the foundation that we stand, walk and run on.
THAT SUMS UP SO MUCH OF MY LIFE THAT IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY!! BUT, I won’t go there, yet.
OH MY! If only I could stay focused and get less distracted, thus the name of my most recent blog http://www.multidistracted.blogspot.com/
(FAST FORWARD)
...to 4 years ago when I began seeing a foot doctor because the pain had become so great that I was walking on the outside of my right foot and balancing all of my overweight body on the left hip, leg, knee, and ankle. Of course the doctor said I needed to lose weight which is very hard to do when you love food and can’t walk on your foot some days, much less exercise with the pain. In the meantime, he gave me steroid shots in the joint of my big toe. The shots were great, but made me forget I had pain in my foot, so I overdid it and caused further damage to my foot. I would go back; he would give me a shot, etc. Finally, I told him after a few months, that the diet wasn’t going so well and asked if he could, seeing as he was a foot doctor and not a dietician, simply operate on the foot to fix it. However, shortly afterward, after taking a teaching position, I lost my insurance. That is another story entirely and I do not want to get side tracked on insurance, lack thereof, and the ridiculous-ness of the cost of insurance. SO, I tried to ignore the pain, which was sometimes possible, My Foot!! It hurt always…
In the meantime, I had begun to see a chiropractor because of the terrible pain on the left side of my body in my joints which was by now, even worse than the pain in my right foot. Except during those moments when I would be walking along and feel a sharp shooting pain through the bottom of my foot that felt as though someone was stabbing me in the foot with a sharp screwdriver! I could not sleep on my left side because of the joint pain and the fact that my right big toe could not lay against the bed without jolting me awake. Due to the foot or perhaps it would have occurred anyway, I have been taking medicine for fibromyalgia and arthritis.
So, years passed, bringing me to the present. By the time I finally went to another foot doctor (and had lost almost 60 pounds) so I wouldn’t get the “lose weight” excuse.
For those who ask, How did you lose weight? GO HERE http://www.fit4life.lose10in10.com/
Also see a few of the less scary before and during photos on my blog http://www.multidistracted.blogspot.com/
The during is because I am not done losing all the weight yet….
(THE DIAGNOSES OF MY FOOT)
At the Foot & Ankle Clinic Dr. Lap and staff are WONDERFUL! The first visit, they did an Xray and could not believe all of the things going on in my one big toe. I asked could I please show my husband the Xray so he could see what I had been telling him was real pain and not an all imagined reason to keep bringing up the foot episode years before. I had actually forgiven him for all that, but my stubborn foot had not. To see his face as the realization of the pain I had felt became real to him was worth the surgery.
Here are the highlights:
I had a BROKEN TOE BONE which had split and was growing to the left (which was the large extra toe on the outside of my big toe, and a sliver of bone arching down to stab into the flesh of my foot) the latter of which was only found during the surgery and was the cause of the sharp shooting screwdriver stabbing pain that I had experienced, ARTHRITIS, A BUNION, and a GANGLION CYST. They said the joint was mush and would have to be removed along with the cyst and they thought they may have to screw my new toe to my foot to make it realize that it was a part of my foot.
During pre-op I had to also go to the HEART Doctor for clearance (which is another story).
(MY FOOT SURGERY)
I am so glad that I did not look online at these surgeries before I had mine or I would probably not done it. Think about how they removed bones and filed bones from the bottom of my foot by a cut on the top of my foot extending from the toe to the ankle…My only thought is that they peeled back the flesh of my foot (OH IT HURTS TO TYPE THAT) When I asked at my second or first visit, how they did it, they laughed the doctor laugh and did not answer me.
In my own understanding, here is what they did… They cut off the bone that was sticking out the joint of my big toe, they filed down the sharp pointy bone that jabbed downward between my big toe and second toe into the flesh on bottom of my foot, they removed the mushy mass that was once my joint, and removed the gang of lions that roared and clawed in the joint causing pain.
(YOU CAN SKIP DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO READ THE MEDICAL TERMS & see real photos IF YOU LIKE)
(STI
NKY, THE BOOT)
I got lucky; they did not have to use screws to fix my foot, and a month has gone by. I still hurt, but my foot feels better than it ever has before. I am walking on the bottom of it (still in the new boot) and can sleep on my left side. I did have to use crutches at first, because although the bone they had to file off needed to be removed, it was my bone and my foot was used to pressing the weight of my body on it. One of the most bothersome things was the fact that I could not shower for a week or so. Until finally, we used Stinky the Boot (that was the old boot I had before when I was still going to the foot doctor who thought he was a dietician) and wrap my foot in garbage bags with duct tape around the ankle just so I could get a shower. Believe it or not, now the new boot smells worse than Old Stinky the Boot.
(THE TOE CONDO
M?)
Most people have heard the idiom “My Foot!” which is an old fashioned saying that means something that you say after repeating something someone has just said, in order to show that you do not believe it. Although this story is painfully true, there will probably be times as you read it that you think to yourself, “My Foot!” but that is fine, because I know the truth of foot pain because I have lived with it for over 11 years.
I am going to start kind of in the middle, because it is the funniest part of the story, so bear with me as I skip around (pardon the pun). During the pre-op stuff, I was dozing off during my MRI when the technician rushes over and asks if my foot was on fire! Something like this:
Me: “Snore, snore”
Tech: (shakes me awake, yelling)”Is your foot burning?”
Me: (rubbing eyes) “Um, not that I know of.”
Tech: “Do you have metal in your foot?” at which point I think surgery has already happened and I now have a screw in my foot.
Me: “Um… Is surgery over?”
Tech: “No you are in pre-op, wake up, tell me do you feel sparks or heat in your foot?”
Me: (JOLTING AWAKE) “What! Fire? Metal? No!! Why?”
Tech: “The machine is seeing metal flakes on that foot. Do you have any idea why?”
Me: “Well, I did have red, white, and blue glittery stars on my nails for the 4th of July.”
It is now September, so I am (thinking)
“What an embarrassing way to admit that I do not always remove polish before reapplying.”
At this point the tech rolls me out of the machine, and looks at my foot and sure enough there was metal flake in the silver polish that I was wearing, so she had to go to emergency room and get polish remover pads for me to remove the polish so I did not have to reschedule.
Tech: “Never in 20 years of doing this have I seen polish cause sparks in the MRI machine!”
Leave it to me to mess up a million dollar machine…
(RANDOM THOUGHT)
I once heard a preacher talking about silly reasons that people miss Church. I know that people do make excuses, but that is beside the point, and completely irrelevant to my foot. The relevant part is that he said as he demonstrated in a funny kind of way, that some people will say, “I can’t go to Church because my big toe hurts.” And he continued to pretend to whine about a bunion, which I am assuming he has never had one of or he would realize the pain they cause. That was when I stood up and yelled “MY FOOT!”
Okay, not really. I did not actually stand up and yell, in reality, but in my mind. You know, kind of like Ally McBeal (who took most of her sitcom reactions from my real life). I imagined myself doing this.
(THE HISTORY OF MY FEET)
Let me explain something:
I do not, nor have I ever been able to stand someone so much as LOOKING AT MY FEET, much less touching them. I could barely stand to touch my own 3 children’s feet to put on shoes; therefore, they went barefooted a lot, which my daddy would not approve of were he still alive. When I was a child, going barefooted was NOT AN OPTION. This man wore shoes in the ocean, in the pool; I think he even wore them to sleep in occasionally. But as parents often are, he was right one day as I ran through the neighbor’s yard when I ran over a sharp pipe they had where the water from their washing machine drained in their yard and nearly cut my foot in half.
Tickling my feet is out of the question. Oddly enough parents think that it is funny to hold their children down and tickle them until they can’t breathe and cry and scream. This should be the only time that it is OKAY FOR A CHILD to beat the crap out of their parents all about the face and head until they STOP tickling the first time a child yells, STOP!!
My husband did not believe the seriousness of the DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET EVER rule and for a long time and thought it was cute to reach for my feet, grab at my feet, and occasionally glance the wrong way at my feet as if he were wondering if I was serious or acting about the importance of the DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET rule. He has even told me that in my sleep, if he WALKS PAST MY FEET to go to the restroom in the middle of the night, while sound asleep, I will jerk my feet up to the fetal position to protect them.
Subsequently (and relevant, I promise), I also do not like water where I cannot touch or see the bottom. I do not go under water unless I am standing on the bottom and holding my nose, STILL. (But the nearly drowning when I was a child stories will have to wait….) The last time my husband touched my feet was in a pool where he talked me into going into the deep end (I must have been drunk enough not to be scared) and he thought that as a reward for trusting him, it would be funny to go UNDER THE WATER AND PULL ME UNDER BY THE FEET. Many head and shoulder bruises, cuss words I cannot type, and 2 weeks of silence later, he realized that it was serious business to NOT TOUCH MY FEET!! I will not go into how he has now passed the tradition of pretending to want to touch my feet onto my children, who have also come to realize that mama is serious, do not touch the feet!
(BACK TO THE FOOT SURGERY STORY)
Now, to the reality of my foot injury and recent (one month ago) surgery on my right foot & big toe joint; I can’t possibly go back through over 11 years worth of details, so I will hit the high points (or the toe points).
Let’s see,
I was pregnant with my son who is now 11 (that is how I remember how long ago the pain began) Not because of my son, really it was because of my hubby, well……….. That didn’t come out right….. Anyway, to sum up the foot injury, We were moving for the 8th or 9th time and I was cleaning junk off our porch and throwing things to one side to keep and another to trash. Somehow during the porch cleaning, there was a fit of rage, a broom, and an argument with my then not near as sweet as he is now, hubby.
The result, a broken foot, which I thought was just a bruised foot. It turned black and blue and swelled up so big that I could not help finish cleaning or moving (aww, too bad). The really ironic thing is that had the internet been as advanced as it is now I could have clicked on this link to know the difference between broken and bruised http://www.ehow.com/how_6044_know-toe-broken.html I just had to share that because in looking for the definition of the terms below to describe the 4 things that were causing the pain in my one toe joint, I ran across the article you will see if you get distracted (as I did) and go to that link.
(DISTRACTION)
After my mother who stays well informed on any and all things, be it true or rumor, told me that the feet were one of the most important parts of the body and could affect your overall health, she said that she had heard that some cultures treat the feet for everything ranging from colds to major illnesses by treating the feet. I did some research and according to several sites of which this summed it up the best, mama was right and one of the best sites that sum this up I found this one http://www.drciprian.com/feet.htm :
Twenty five percent of the bones of your body are in your feet. If any of these bones are misaligned, your entire body could be affected. You might not even feel that you have a foot problem but it can be causing knee problems, hip or low-back problems, shoulder and neck problems and even headaches or stomachaches. Foot problems can also cause emotional stresses and physiological changes in the body like adrenal stress, blood sugar, fatigue and many others. Many doctors look to the mechanics of the foot for proper posture but there is so much more making up the foundation that we stand, walk and run on.
THAT SUMS UP SO MUCH OF MY LIFE THAT IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY!! BUT, I won’t go there, yet.
OH MY! If only I could stay focused and get less distracted, thus the name of my most recent blog http://www.multidistracted.blogspot.com/
(FAST FORWARD)
...to 4 years ago when I began seeing a foot doctor because the pain had become so great that I was walking on the outside of my right foot and balancing all of my overweight body on the left hip, leg, knee, and ankle. Of course the doctor said I needed to lose weight which is very hard to do when you love food and can’t walk on your foot some days, much less exercise with the pain. In the meantime, he gave me steroid shots in the joint of my big toe. The shots were great, but made me forget I had pain in my foot, so I overdid it and caused further damage to my foot. I would go back; he would give me a shot, etc. Finally, I told him after a few months, that the diet wasn’t going so well and asked if he could, seeing as he was a foot doctor and not a dietician, simply operate on the foot to fix it. However, shortly afterward, after taking a teaching position, I lost my insurance. That is another story entirely and I do not want to get side tracked on insurance, lack thereof, and the ridiculous-ness of the cost of insurance. SO, I tried to ignore the pain, which was sometimes possible, My Foot!! It hurt always…
In the meantime, I had begun to see a chiropractor because of the terrible pain on the left side of my body in my joints which was by now, even worse than the pain in my right foot. Except during those moments when I would be walking along and feel a sharp shooting pain through the bottom of my foot that felt as though someone was stabbing me in the foot with a sharp screwdriver! I could not sleep on my left side because of the joint pain and the fact that my right big toe could not lay against the bed without jolting me awake. Due to the foot or perhaps it would have occurred anyway, I have been taking medicine for fibromyalgia and arthritis.
So, years passed, bringing me to the present. By the time I finally went to another foot doctor (and had lost almost 60 pounds) so I wouldn’t get the “lose weight” excuse.
For those who ask, How did you lose weight? GO HERE http://www.fit4life.lose10in10.com/
Also see a few of the less scary before and during photos on my blog http://www.multidistracted.blogspot.com/
The during is because I am not done losing all the weight yet….
(THE DIAGNOSES OF MY FOOT)
At the Foot & Ankle Clinic Dr. Lap and staff are WONDERFUL! The first visit, they did an Xray and could not believe all of the things going on in my one big toe. I asked could I please show my husband the Xray so he could see what I had been telling him was real pain and not an all imagined reason to keep bringing up the foot episode years before. I had actually forgiven him for all that, but my stubborn foot had not. To see his face as the realization of the pain I had felt became real to him was worth the surgery.
Here are the highlights:
I had a BROKEN TOE BONE which had split and was growing to the left (which was the large extra toe on the outside of my big toe, and a sliver of bone arching down to stab into the flesh of my foot) the latter of which was only found during the surgery and was the cause of the sharp shooting screwdriver stabbing pain that I had experienced, ARTHRITIS, A BUNION, and a GANGLION CYST. They said the joint was mush and would have to be removed along with the cyst and they thought they may have to screw my new toe to my foot to make it realize that it was a part of my foot.
During pre-op I had to also go to the HEART Doctor for clearance (which is another story).
(MY FOOT SURGERY)
I am so glad that I did not look online at these surgeries before I had mine or I would probably not done it. Think about how they removed bones and filed bones from the bottom of my foot by a cut on the top of my foot extending from the toe to the ankle…My only thought is that they peeled back the flesh of my foot (OH IT HURTS TO TYPE THAT) When I asked at my second or first visit, how they did it, they laughed the doctor laugh and did not answer me.
In my own understanding, here is what they did… They cut off the bone that was sticking out the joint of my big toe, they filed down the sharp pointy bone that jabbed downward between my big toe and second toe into the flesh on bottom of my foot, they removed the mushy mass that was once my joint, and removed the gang of lions that roared and clawed in the joint causing pain.
(YOU CAN SKIP DOWN TO THE BOTTOM TO READ THE MEDICAL TERMS & see real photos IF YOU LIKE)
(STI
NKY, THE BOOT)I got lucky; they did not have to use screws to fix my foot, and a month has gone by. I still hurt, but my foot feels better than it ever has before. I am walking on the bottom of it (still in the new boot) and can sleep on my left side. I did have to use crutches at first, because although the bone they had to file off needed to be removed, it was my bone and my foot was used to pressing the weight of my body on it. One of the most bothersome things was the fact that I could not shower for a week or so. Until finally, we used Stinky the Boot (that was the old boot I had before when I was still going to the foot doctor who thought he was a dietician) and wrap my foot in garbage bags with duct tape around the ankle just so I could get a shower. Believe it or not, now the new boot smells worse than Old Stinky the Boot.
(THE TOE CONDO
M?) To tell you how well l I am doing after the surgery, at my visit last week, after removing the foot wrap off my entire foot, they put band aids over the cut and said, almost as an afterthought,
“Oh wait! I have something for you.”
I was thinking, another boot? a wrap to cover the band aids, a lollipop for my pain and suffering like when I was a kid. ? A few moments later they returned with what looked to be A TOE CONDOM! I didn’t ask, I just said thank you and left. Do you know how hard it is to hold this on a toe that has not been able to grip the toe thingy on a flip flop for over 10 years? Apparently, the toe condom is to train the toe to remain part of the foot and not veer back to the left. I am thinking of selling the toe condom on eBay at my store called oddjunknobodywants or for info email oddjunknobodywants@gmail.com
(THE END?)
All that being said, I will be going for my post–op Xray later this week (it has been one month since surgery and the doctors have said I am healing fine. I may even be able to wear high heel shoes again one day, or exercise again and will ask if it is possible to get photos of before and after to post if there is any interest. I started to go online and use other peoples Xrays, just to show, but I am sure that there is some copyright or law against that.
I am telling you, if someone ever tells you the feet are not important, you say “My FOOT!”
(THE MEDICAL TERMS)
Ganglion cyst is a benign tumor, or lump that can technically occur anywhere on the body & are very common on the feet. It is basically a sac filled with fluid that arises from either a joint (space between two bones) or from a tendon (structure that attaches a muscle into bone). Ganglion cysts are also known as Bible cysts or sometimes Gideon cysts because years ago the recommended treatment was to smash the growth with a book in order to break it up and even the poorest of families had a Bible. I find it amazing that everything relates back to the Bible.
Arthritis pain can be very crippling. In the foot is no exception. The problems with arthritis arise in the chronic form, or the progressive form where the problem just keeps getting worse. In these cases things like cortisone injections or physical therapy may reduce the discomfort but the pain will usually return at some point in time. The type of arthritis most often seen in the feet is known as osteoarthritis, or the "wear and tear" type of arthritis. Basically, the joint just wears out over time.
Bunion, or hallux valgus, is a deformity of the big toe joint. Bunion pathology is usually manifested as a “bump” on the inside of the foot just behind the big toe. The bump can be very small or reasonably large; the size of which is not necessarily proportional to the amount of pain one can experience. Along with this bony bump there can be an associated
Bursitis which is a “cushion” that the body originally creates to protect an area from pressure or friction, but after a while this cushion can also become inflamed and painful. The last component of this deformity is the deviation of the big toe as it moves toward the second toe, sometimes even underlapping the second toe.
THAT IS THE NEW BOOT ( SEE NEXT POST) I COULD NOT UPLOAD ANYMORE
THAT IS MY FOOT NOW
(I cannot find the before pictures)
“Oh wait! I have something for you.”
I was thinking, another boot? a wrap to cover the band aids, a lollipop for my pain and suffering like when I was a kid. ? A few moments later they returned with what looked to be A TOE CONDOM! I didn’t ask, I just said thank you and left. Do you know how hard it is to hold this on a toe that has not been able to grip the toe thingy on a flip flop for over 10 years? Apparently, the toe condom is to train the toe to remain part of the foot and not veer back to the left. I am thinking of selling the toe condom on eBay at my store called oddjunknobodywants or for info email oddjunknobodywants@gmail.com
(THE END?)
All that being said, I will be going for my post–op Xray later this week (it has been one month since surgery and the doctors have said I am healing fine. I may even be able to wear high heel shoes again one day, or exercise again and will ask if it is possible to get photos of before and after to post if there is any interest. I started to go online and use other peoples Xrays, just to show, but I am sure that there is some copyright or law against that.
I am telling you, if someone ever tells you the feet are not important, you say “My FOOT!”
(THE MEDICAL TERMS)
Ganglion cyst is a benign tumor, or lump that can technically occur anywhere on the body & are very common on the feet. It is basically a sac filled with fluid that arises from either a joint (space between two bones) or from a tendon (structure that attaches a muscle into bone). Ganglion cysts are also known as Bible cysts or sometimes Gideon cysts because years ago the recommended treatment was to smash the growth with a book in order to break it up and even the poorest of families had a Bible. I find it amazing that everything relates back to the Bible.
Arthritis pain can be very crippling. In the foot is no exception. The problems with arthritis arise in the chronic form, or the progressive form where the problem just keeps getting worse. In these cases things like cortisone injections or physical therapy may reduce the discomfort but the pain will usually return at some point in time. The type of arthritis most often seen in the feet is known as osteoarthritis, or the "wear and tear" type of arthritis. Basically, the joint just wears out over time.
Bunion, or hallux valgus, is a deformity of the big toe joint. Bunion pathology is usually manifested as a “bump” on the inside of the foot just behind the big toe. The bump can be very small or reasonably large; the size of which is not necessarily proportional to the amount of pain one can experience. Along with this bony bump there can be an associated
Bursitis which is a “cushion” that the body originally creates to protect an area from pressure or friction, but after a while this cushion can also become inflamed and painful. The last component of this deformity is the deviation of the big toe as it moves toward the second toe, sometimes even underlapping the second toe.
THAT IS THE NEW BOOT ( SEE NEXT POST) I COULD NOT UPLOAD ANYMORE
THAT IS MY FOOT NOW
(I cannot find the before pictures)
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